Top tips. (follow the advice at your own risk)

Es99
Es99
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Topic 191331

Minor skin grafts can be performed on pigs by covering any cuts and grazes with thin strips of bacon.

Physics is for gurls!

H-Al 1 pint
H-Al 1 pint
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Top tips. (follow the advice at your own risk)

Quote:
Minor skin grafts can be performed on pigs by covering any cuts and grazes with thin strips of bacon.


Cool!

Son of a BIT!

ralic
ralic
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Forcing a herd of cows

Forcing a herd of cows through a narrow alleyway may result in condensed milk.

Es99
Es99
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MAKE shopkeepers feel like

MAKE shopkeepers feel like criminals and con men by carefully checking their change and holding bank notes up to the light before accepting them.

Physics is for gurls!

ralic
ralic
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At the beginning of your next

At the beginning of your next job interview, be sure to insist on the interviewer's CV and that they clearly indicate the portion that details their relevant training and experience in conducting job interviews.

vonHalenbach
vonHalenbach
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RE: At the beginning of

Message 36467 in response to message 36466

Quote:
At the beginning of your next job interview, be sure to insist on the interviewer's CV and that they clearly indicate the portion that details their relevant training and experience in conducting job interviews.

I vote for that. lol

ersatzjim
ersatzjim
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Insist on field sobriety

Insist on field sobriety tests from police officers that attempt to arrest you for DWI/DUI. Be sure to shout. Gesticulate wildly to be sure to gain their attention. Make several attempts to grab their weapons in order to emphasize your serious intent. Wet or foul yourself during any arrest proceedings should they occur. Smear yourself and all within arm's reach with with whatever substances you may find at hand. Enjoy free room and board for many years to come.

Those who don’t build must burn. It’s as old as history and juvenile delinquents.
Ray Bradbury - Fahrenheit 451

John Hunt
John Hunt
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Flying to Miami? Use this


Flying to Miami? Use this airport.

John Hunt
John Hunt
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Swedish tourist? Visit Tampa


Swedish tourist? Visit Tampa Bay.

ralic
ralic
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Posts: 128
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When disorientated after

When disorientated after being dumped by a wave, don't panic, simply exhale a mouthful of air and follow the bubbles.

Es99
Es99
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Posts: 763
Credit: 394750
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Fool other drivers into

Fool other drivers into thinking you have an expensive car phone by holding an old TV or video remote control up to your ear and occasionally swerving across the road and mounting the kerb.

Physics is for gurls!

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