Posts by Mike Hewson

11) Message boards : Cafe Einstein : LPTP Thread #7 - - and away we go! (Message 133118)
Posted 8 days ago by Profile Mike Hewson
Rules of Coffee

- Never get between <insert occupation here> and their coffee.

( eg. ice fisherman, firefighter )

- Don't diss the barista.

- Mess with my java at your own risk!

- never get between coffee and my path away from it.

- gigantic, on the dark side, and powerful enough to destroy planets.


Lucky Bill ! Phil saved you from a double poster there.

Confucius say : Like stubbed toes, may all your earthquakes be little ones.

Crunchy Neck is indeed the precise term, often found in the company of Itchy Spleen, Stink Eye, Droopy Mesentery and The Catastrophe Lobe.

[ I am told that there are 'J-Knees' out there, but I myself have never seen a case. This disturbs me. ]

Now this morning on the way to work, I feel I could definitely have used an M1-A2 ! Apart from the fuel issue, I believe it's other specs would make up for that in our local traffic.

Speaking of local traffic : actually the use of in-car GoPros is increasing I'm told. Is it true that in some countries they can come fitted to a new car, and that one may get a discount insurance policy if so ? That way if you get punted, the other party can't BS their way out of a hi-res video record. There was a near fatal head-on recently recorded by a GoPro in an un-involved vehicle. The police took a statement from driverX ( alleged perp ) then showed him the video and then asked if he would like to review his version. Awkward*. I also like the way that all the UFOs have become real camera shy now that nearly every mobile phone is one.

Cheers, Mike.

* That is : the version you might try to outguess/contradict could be anyone at all. Get that wrong and you have 'making a false statement to Police' plonked on the charge sheet in addition to the original issue.
12) Message boards : Cafe Einstein : LPTP Thread #7 - - and away we go! (Message 133073)
Posted 10 days ago by Profile Mike Hewson
Caution : distressing yucky detail alert !

She said post surgery I will be using a saline rinse that I spray into one nostril and let it run out the other one, sounds disgusting!!

Yeeees ..... but more to the point it's going to feel disgusting. The first time it will feel like fizzy drink up your nose, or seawater after being dumped off a wave. But you will adapt with strength and fortitude ! There's two reasons to rinse (a) get the mucus out and (b) get the stuff that stimulates mucus production out. Hope it goes well ! :-)

Your specialist just sounds like my kind of doctor. The guy I refer children to for ENT work is a really nice chap, and is outstanding because he listens very carefully to the mothers when they describe the child's problem. He has a longish waiting list for appointments, but you always get that with the best and he is sure worth it.

Does everyone remember hearing about 'The Battle of The Buldge" in WWII? Well this weekend the Formula 1 guys are in Belgium near the Towns of Francorchamps, Malmedy, and Stavelot in the Ardennes Forrest where the battle was fought. Every once in a while as they make track improvements they dig up some old military hardware, trucks, tanks, etc and LOTS of ammunition, some of it unexploded! As they drive you can still see how hilly the place is/was.

Yup, the good old 101st Airborne holding Bastogne until Patton did a 90 degree turn in 36 hours and broke through. In winter ! Patton was deemed the most dangerous American general by his opponents, with extra enemy divisions assigned simply because he was leading. Despite the movie his army actually had fewer casualties under his command than Bradley. However like MacArthur he always bucked up against his seniors, spoke more than was liked, though while he was loved by his soldiers he was schemed against back home by politicians. I think there is even a recent book out by someone who thinks his death ( motor vehicle collision ) was not accidental.

Cheers, Mike.
13) Message boards : Cafe Einstein : LPTP Thread #7 - - and away we go! (Message 133056)
Posted 11 days ago by Profile Mike Hewson
Money For Jam Days

Picture a hill with a great noble house on the top. A long flared ridge with a slight kink descends from it to a sharp overhang, where groups of tents lie marked by a jaunty sign sitting amongst a pile of ropes and grapples. 'Spelunker Base Camp'.

The house is in fact an Edwardian manor, the wrought iron gate at the entrance has an arch that reads :

The Happy Peak Retirement Home for Otorhinolaryngologists

Within which is the Rostrum Reading Room, the door of which has a coat of arms above ( featuring a mounted Templar knight simultaneously wielding a hook, mallet and probe ) that reads :

Si in dubium, quâ illud polypus

[ if in doubt, tell 'em it's a polyp ]

There engulfed in a large armchair snoozes Professor Ralph 'The Mercurial' Uvula - who once shaved the turbinates ( in under seven seconds ) of the Queen's best horse at Ascot in 1967. That afternoon it went on to win the Derby by a short nose.

Beside him, working over a berm of white powder on the table with a credit card is Mr Angus 'The Auger' McReamer.

Angus : Ah, those were the good old days.

Ralph ( waking up ) : what ?

Angus : you know, before this new technology.

Ralph : Yes ?

Angus : We use to prep em, put them to sleep ...

Ralph : ... ah, lightly bludgeon them with a cricket bat ...

Angus : ... on the upper face ...

Ralph : ... stuff some cotton wool up the nostrils ...

Angus: ... wake them up and send them on their way.

Ralph : A dozen to the hour when Nurse Hooter was on.

Angus : Yup, she send them down the chute like they were worth five quid each.

Ralph : Which they were, to her.

Together : To the good old days !

They run a line each, and then stare for a while at the 12% dispenser on the wall.

Ralph : Fancy technology !

Angus : Evidence !

Ralph : Patients asking questions !

Angus : CAT scans !

Ralph : Clever radiologists !

Angus : ' I report this '

Ralph : ' I interpret that '

They both begin to sniff and sob, eyes running. Deep sighs followed by huge sneezes that blow the paraphernalia off the table.

Together : We should have cut them in ...

Cheers, Mike.

( edit ) We have CRAFT disease in the southern hemisphere. Can't Remember A .... Thing.
14) Message boards : Cafe Einstein : LPTP Thread #7 - - and away we go! (Message 133037)
Posted 11 days ago by Profile Mike Hewson
As for you, Mr. Hewson...I respectfully submit to you that one can never have enough pi! I'm going to copy your post and send it to my room mate, who is blind. He uses a software reader that while it sounds like a real voice, is close to monotone. Your "audition" post should sound hilarious. I'll hear him in the back room cackling as it reads.

As luck would have it I am a Kindle fan - a Kindle Fire to be exact. It can read to you for most formats ! However if it's a math text, say, it will not speak the formulae and symbols and otherwise embedded graphics. Never mind, it is a pleasant feature. I do have an iPad ( one ) for which I think has a mutated frog embedded for that purpose.

[ Due to other shocking events, no more Foley jokes. :-( ]

Cheers, Mike.
15) Message boards : Cafe Einstein : LPTP Thread #7 - - and away we go! (Message 133017)
Posted 13 days ago by Profile Mike Hewson
Stealing for PI huh ? It already has an infinite number of decimal places ... how greedy can you get ?

Now down at Phil's sound studio, recording the Foley Catheters ad voiceover :

Mikey : Foley Catheters! For the indecisive

err, simply read the script cards please

Mikey : Can you walk the Foley Walk ?

ah, well done but ..

Mikey : Trust the Foley brand for when it absolutely, positively has to happen !

fine, fine

Mikey : For over 100 years people have trusted Foley's for their plumbing needs.

next please

Mikey : Foley's, for when only the best will do !

thank you, we will contact you via your agent

Mikey : Make mine a Foley's, what's yours ?

yes, yes. That's really good, we'll send the cheque ...

Mikey : My doctor's no fool, he always uses Foley's.

Ahem, security to booth five ....

Mikey : Foley is as Foley does !

Yes, put me through to SWAT thanks.

Mikey : General Patton had a Foley's and he never looked back !

Tasers are fine, just don't damage the Bose.

Mikey : I'm a fifth generation Foley artist.

... yeah, may as well use the defib. I think it's charged. But move the Stratocaster a bit to the left, thanks.

Cheers, Mike.
16) Message boards : Cafe Einstein : LPTP Thread #7 - - and away we go! (Message 133004)
Posted 14 days ago by Profile Mike Hewson
I was a difficult child. In primary school I was voted "Male Child Most Likely To Become Benign World Dictator" for three years running*.

Cheers, Mike.

* ... that followed after three straight years of "Male Child Most Likely To Become Current World Dictator's Doctor". So you can see how I foresaw my plan unfolding right then and there.

[ NB There were similiar female awards. At Nar Nar Goon Primary ( yes I know, have a chuckle & get it out of your system ) we were right up on the latest social trends of the 60's.]

( edit ) I have just read that the WikiWhinger is going to try and make a bolt for it. Might start a totebook on how far he will get. Any takers? Starting price is out at 200 to 1 on for the first 20 meters. ( He went to Melbourne Uni a short time after me ... )
17) Message boards : Cafe Einstein : LPTP Thread #7 - - and away we go! (Message 133002)
Posted 14 days ago by Profile Mike Hewson
... Not only is there a double post ...

Who ? Me ? Slinks away into naughty corner with stupid guilty look on face .... to write out one hundred times :

I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.

I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.
I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.
I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.
I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.
I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.
I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.
I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.
I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.
I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.
I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.
I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.
I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.
I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.
I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.
I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.
I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.
I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.
I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.
I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.
I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.I will not be selfish and greedy, and I will wait and take turns properly with others in the future.

Foley studio artists cut a cabbage to get the right sound for the head chop at the guillotine.

[ When they wanted the sound of cabbages being chopped up, they had to kill a guy to get that right. ]

Thanks for disclosing the back story on the outstanding functions there Bill ! ROFL :-)

4. High Power Laser Mode - If you need to cauterize the entire ear.

... you also need the WA-03401-S Otoscope Recoil Containment Shield for that.

Cheers, Mike.
18) Message boards : Cafe Einstein : LPTP Thread #7 - - and away we go! (Message 132973)
Posted 14 days ago by Profile Mike Hewson
Here's a laugh : I bought online half a dozen of those little lamps* for use within my otoscope, the gadget the doctor looks in your ear with. To illuminate your wax loading, say. The retailer has now invited me to write a product review and give a rating on a five-star scale. Admittedly they've thrown me an automated email, but logically I can only think of a few merits to mention :

- the lamps fit the otoscope

- they light up when turned on

- is sufficiently bright

- they go dark when turned off

... which in the absence of otherwise undisclosed functionality probably covers it. Five stars it is then.

Cheers, Mike.

* click the 'larger photo' button. You will get a popup showing the exact same size graphic.
19) Message boards : Cafe Einstein : LPTP Thread #7 - - and away we go! (Message 132970)
Posted 15 days ago by Profile Mike Hewson
I like to think that we have a flexible moderation policy here at E@H ....

Cheers, Mike.

( edit ) I found an interesting article in the current Science Magazine which probably defines the 'real' reason why the Soviets invaded Afghanistan some thirty-ish years ago : minerals by the mountain load. The Soviets studied the landscape in detail while they were there and also deliberately put about false geological maps in order to mislead Western powers. It turns out that those magnificent mountain ranges are absolutely chock-a-block with high grade ores : silver, gold, mercury, tin, copper, zinc, lithium, aluminium, tungsten, uranium and gobs of rare earth lodes like about a trillion dollars worth of niobium, say. The USGS has described Afghanistan as 'very, very mineral rich' ie. you couldn't dig up a spadeful without making money. For some metals the estimates suggest more than any amount ever mined elsewhere, or even reserves that could be mined elsewhere.

( edit ) Another Science Magazine article discusses the sacking of a Los Alamos researcher for an alleged breach of top secret material. The 'classified secret' in question was Israel having The Bomb. Really ? Do you think so ? In any case the Institute for Strategic Studies suggests it might be more to the point that the article that the researcher wrote for them was critical of the Mutually Assured Destruction doctrine and outlined several cold war incidents & misunderstandings that could have led to nuclear war. I guess you have to not diss your employer ie. not make them MAD. Assuming they are not already. :-)
20) Message boards : Cafe Einstein : LPTP Thread #7 - - and away we go! (Message 132968)
Posted 15 days ago by Profile Mike Hewson
Official Moderation Directive : DO NOT EAT NON-CHOCOLATE COATED E@H CONTRIBUTORS*

Cheers, Mike.

* Even if they are tomatoes.


Previous 10 | Next 10

Home · Your account · Message boards

This material is based upon work supported by the National Science Foundation (NSF) under Grants PHY-1104902, PHY-1104617 and PHY-1105572 and by the Max Planck Gesellschaft (MPG). Any opinions, findings, and conclusions or recommendations expressed in this material are those of the investigators and do not necessarily reflect the views of the NSF or the MPG.

Copyright © 2014 Bruce Allen