Posts by Mike Hewson

11) Message boards : Cafe Einstein : Seti Refuge Bar & Bistro Wing of Cafe Einstein (Message 135473)
Posted 2 days ago by Profile Mike Hewson
homebrewed Coopers Lager

*tugs at forelock*

Ale of the Gods themselves ! I cannot surpass that. You are already perfectly served with the golden liquid.

*kneels before brewing acolyte*

Cheers, Mike.
12) Message boards : Cafe Einstein : Seti Refuge Bar & Bistro Wing of Cafe Einstein (Message 135471)
Posted 2 days ago by Profile Mike Hewson
I think that I need a beer.

Certainly sir !

*polite & expectant bartender smile*

May I interest you in some Coopers perhaps? Considered as 'more than a bit hoppy' by some, but if it is brewing residue that you're after ... :-)

*beer pull hand hovering at tap*

Cheers, Mike.
13) Message boards : Cafe Einstein : Cafe Einstein: LPTP #12 (Message 135465)
Posted 2 days ago by Profile Mike Hewson
ROFL ! :-)

My swivelly chair also has an up/down axis and a tilt back lever. These have their dangers .... if I kick the upper/downer one accidentally with my right heel then I go down about a foot real quick. Though I do use that to interrupt the consultations that have bogged down a bit.

Cheers, Mike.

( edit )
Heisenberg compensators.

@David : We can compensate for this [strike]crappy[/strike] thread ? Thank heavens ! I felt the entire E@H project was at risk.

( edit ) My staff are revolting. I ask for Mrs Very Much KerFoops to be put on my list to visit at the nursing home this afternoon, so they put in my appointment book :

"12:00 - Dr M to visit nursing home and be admitted"

( edit ) Silly misunderstandings : "be admitted" as in 'be allowed to enter the property'. Yeah right. Ahem ! Young whippersnappers, sacking's to good for them ....
14) Message boards : Cafe Einstein : Cafe Einstein: LPTP #12 (Message 135462)
Posted 2 days ago by Profile Mike Hewson
Aha ! A piece of solid ground in this burgeoning morass folks :

... I would be VERY surprised if the person we seek had not at some point turned round on their swivelly chair and said: "aah... fermi Lab data... not extra-galactic but will have to do I suppose" ...

Deductions :

(a) Prefers extra galactic data.

(b) Will settle for Fermi Lab data.

(c) Uses swivelly chairs in rotation mode.

(d) Speaks.

So that rules out Stephen Hawking then. Try :

Saul Perlmutter

( discovered The Universe was generally behaving oddly, got a prize for that. Something about accelerating when it shouldn't. Sounds like an F1 race steward or something. )

Oh, and that example is the very reason I don't play ping-pong. It is the ball game with the highest self-face-whack index. I suspect the game was invented by a facio-maxillary surgical group.

... I'm retracting all my apologies now...

*lifts pen off score sheet*

Cheers, Mike.

NB. Do morasses really burgeon ? I wonder.
15) Message boards : Cafe Einstein : Cafe Einstein: LPTP #12 (Message 135428)
Posted 3 days ago by Profile Mike Hewson
Let's hope they didn't suck it out the ground... :/

Hmmmm. They may have. Water is not known to, say, fall out of the sky around there. There is a river nearby. Well I say 'river' but it's full title is 'The Broken River', perhaps implying some discontinuity I reckon. Otherwise the original settlers may have used "The Completely Continuous Always and Everywhere River", to chance a phrase.

NB That sinkhole has a very ugly water utility worker just sitting around and looking at that pipe*.



Cheers, Mike.

( edit )
edit: apologies to golfers everywhere and to Magic in particular for my facetiousness :) I am working through a rude streak at the moment :)))) I may be some time... :)

Sigh ..... I have warned you before, on several occasions, about feeling sorry for others in these threads. You are being watched and scored as we speak .... I fear I just cannot put it any plainer.

* Plus he has a baby elephant sitting on his head.
16) Message boards : Cafe Einstein : Cafe Einstein: LPTP #12 (Message 135425)
Posted 3 days ago by Profile Mike Hewson
@ Dr. Mike.....after reading about your golf desert I emailed you water from my course here in Port Ludlow where the only dry spots are the bunkers in late July

Much appreciated ! I must say it is a novel experience to have water deliberately flowing out of the ADSL modem.

Now I did build my house in a way where a fire is unlikely ...

Aahh ! Constructed within a total vacuum then ? My trouble is never really knowing if the virtual particles are actually there, and you ought never take the uncorroborated word of the real estate agent in such a case.

Cheers, Mike.
17) Message boards : Cafe Einstein : Seti Refuge Bar & Bistro Wing of Cafe Einstein (Message 135422)
Posted 3 days ago by Profile Mike Hewson
I think as one gets older then you get adherent body parts eg.

- stuck hinges

- stuck valves

- stuck relays

... to which the best strategy is the comfy armchair from where, as Anniet indicates, True Science can be performed. One then accepts the position of said body components as they are. This I believe is a valid form of bio-efficiency and totally avoids tap holes as a side effect.

Cheers, Mike.

( edit ) My wife - on close interrogation - has indicated that the toe-in-tap phenomenon is restricted ( assuming that it happens at all ) to shorter women only. To be exact : she has never seen a case herself.
18) Message boards : Cafe Einstein : Seti Refuge Bar & Bistro Wing of Cafe Einstein (Message 135418)
Posted 3 days ago by Profile Mike Hewson
There are these little mesh caps that you can put over the tap end. Apparently this helps aerate the water ( FWIW ), but I think would have the inadvertent bonus of preventing toe capture. But toe-tap-insertion is believed to be very borderline stupid, and leads one to be marked down by your local emergency services as being in the "let's take our time and stroll to this call" category. They do have such lists you know and commonly they send newbie medics to such known addresses. This is denoted in paramedic circles as the Retard Tolerance Test ( RTT ). I hear that a new emergency crew graduate must attend a minimum of three (3) RTT's during their first year of service.

Cheers, Mike.
19) Message boards : Cafe Einstein : Cafe Einstein: LPTP #12 (Message 135415)
Posted 3 days ago by Profile Mike Hewson
I am devastated. The Nathalia Golf Club that I referred to as a 'sand-scrape' has, within the space of a mere 20 years, had water added to it :



I would have bought the 'desert' camo balls, and to no avail !

Cheers, Mike.

( edit ) Look ! There are quite alot of trees. Who would think that some regular watering would do that in such a brief time interval ?
20) Message boards : Cafe Einstein : Cafe Einstein: LPTP #12 (Message 135412)
Posted 3 days ago by Profile Mike Hewson
Long Boring Golf Anecdote Alert

When I wuz young*, with my lumbar discs un-ruptured, I got down to +8 handicap on the sand. Mind you that could have been the club's handicappers being kind to the young local doctor though.

Now the best and most funnest round of golf I ever had was 'night four-ball'. You play in groups of four players, but with a single ball per group hit in succession by different players in the group in some pattern of rotation. The groups and play sequence is determined randomly when everyone turns up. For the times I played we easily had over 10 groups of four playing nine holes. The playing sequence persists b/w holes so that you can't use a good driving player off the tee all the time, it will be whom-so-ever comes after the one who putted in on the most recent hole. This event is held in the late evening, say past 10pm and usually in high summer when it is too hot to sleep until 2am anyway. A full moon for preference. One uses special balls that have a cylindrical slot through the centre into which you place an exact fitting chemical glow stick. So you have some hope of finding them. It's best to give different color glow sticks to different groups. The other feature/advantage is only having one set of clubs per group to drag around. Which leaves at least another set of hands to carry the drinks cooler.

[ I was always made very welcome for such occasions, at least I think because of my utility in the case of snake bite. Assuming I wasn't the bitten one that is. One uses the end of a club when fiddling around and displacing the leaf litter etc to find the ball. A low iron is best as it is a better chopping tool in the case of Snake Surprise. In retrospect I certainly could have carried the antivenin along in with the drinkies. Just be careful what you reach for and take a swig of ... :-) ]

There were special play rules related to nocturnal animal hazards, and quite severe penalties for couples dallying in the scrub 'trying to find a lost ball'. Torches were allowed for intermittent use only as that allegedly ruins night vision, and we needed to remove that effect from the list of excuses. Some gag prizes were awarded but in general the answer to the question 'who won ?' was 'who cares ?'. :-)

Cheers, Mike.

* this was in a geological period coming after the dinosaurs but before modern day, now officially called 'The NineteenEighties Error'. Those that have dug down to the relevant stratum have found objects called "fantastic black plastic" ( a type of music emitting discoid ), hair braided into a shape called "the Mullet" ( though curiously not resembling any known fish ), something described as "ABBA" ( references are unsure here, but probably a Scandinavian viral strain ), not forgetting "AC/DC" ( a type of rhythmic power source that tribal youth would literally plug their skulls into ), and finally mythic beings called 'TinaTurner' ( Goddess of Horse Thighs ) and 'BlondieFirstTimeAround' ( The Atomic Goddess ) .

( edit ) I should say the main boon of 'night four-ball' was that any skill whatsoever in playing golf was not required, and even any accidental or vague prowess was heavily frowned upon. Those known to be able to deliberately guide the path of a golf ball were not subsequently invited if they displayed such tendencies. However there were contentious instances where good shots were played, allegedly 'fluked', and thus required the match committee to intervene & adjudicate on that likelihood. The minimum penalty applied was payment for the drinks of the others, so there were some very sore and sorry points of order raised. I found it best to ensure that no attention was paid to myself in such regard, which fortunately required no effort at all to remain in the stewards' Category Q : "evidently & completely lacking talent".

( edit ) I am going on aren't I ? An oddly quiet Monday afternoon. I should be completely honest and state that while I had no golfing talent, I believed that I did. Apparently I was not alone in suffering this Golfing Ability Psychosis. GAP is common in young adult males, often in professional categories of occupation, and almost always associated with failure in other areas of life that males would prefer to succeed at eg. shark wrestling, space travel and wild pig guillotining. Sufferers typically strut around golf links in highly expensive attire with accouterments muttering "what would Greg Norman do in this situation ?", while utterly missing the obvious reposte "Nothing. He wouldn't have gotten into this situation". The only known cures ( though not very specific ) are Father Time, Death, Taxation and The Wife. My wife was very gentle with me : she did flatly refuse to have me put down when that was offered, albeit with mumblings about un-retired mortgages.


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This material is based upon work supported by the National Science Foundation (NSF) under Grants PHY-1104902, PHY-1104617 and PHY-1105572 and by the Max Planck Gesellschaft (MPG). Any opinions, findings, and conclusions or recommendations expressed in this material are those of the investigators and do not necessarily reflect the views of the NSF or the MPG.

Copyright © 2014 Bruce Allen