Posts by Mike Hewson

11) Message boards : Cafe Einstein : LPTP Thread #5 - - and away we go (Message 132361)
Posted 3 days ago by Profile Mike Hewson
Now this is my in your dreams car. Apart from merely paying about $8K AUD in luxury car tax, you get two turbos, an amazing set of dual-disc brakes per wheel, shockers the rally guys use, and some very specialised sway and torsion bars. Plus some nice bling.

The biggest problem with this type of car is driver overconfidence. It's the sort of car that takes you closer to the edge of physics and thus with almost no warning that you're about to exceed limits. So the trick is to drive sedately knowing that you have exceptional all weather margins. This is the car for those who suspect all other road users of constant malfeasance ..... moi

Cheers, Mike.
12) Message boards : Cafe Einstein : LPTP Thread #5 - - and away we go (Message 132356)
Posted 4 days ago by Profile Mike Hewson
Hmmm .... went to rack & ruin after medically recommended treatments. I see a pattern here. :-)*

Actually I blew the bottom disc ( L5/S1 ) some 16 years ago, when the car flipped as I swung to avoid a head-on with a crazy/drugged driver. Could have been worse. Could be dead now. The neurosurgeon said he could EITHER operate and I would spend six weeks in bed/traction, OR I could just spend six weeks in bed/traction. So I remain untouched by a scalpel. Now I cannot swing a golf club ( though it's arguable as to whether I could beforehand ).

Friends come and go, but enemies and injuries accumulate! :-)

Cheers, Mike.

( edit )
Between 1520 and 1630 about 30,000 people were reported to French authorities for being werewolves.
Err .... just yesterday ? That's quite a few for a mere hour and ten minutes !

* this is the sort of opinion that you get for nothing : all embracing, knowledgeable but utterly useless ! A paid professional opinion is exactly the same except for the transfer of funds. That, of course, is useful ....

( edit ) We have a Tarbosaurus at Melbourne Museum which initially interested me greatly because I thought it was Turbosaurus. I mean 'Alarming Lizard' is a reasonable name indeed .... but what about MitsubishiLancerRalliArtosaurus ? [ This is what one buys if one can't afford an Evo ie. me ... ]
13) Message boards : Cafe Einstein : LPTP Thread #5 - - and away we go (Message 132352)
Posted 4 days ago by Profile Mike Hewson
Hi Everybody ! :-)

Nice to see you back, Bill ! ;-)

Yes, we do spinal shots DownUnda. Correction : Bundaberg Rum straight down the neck*. Rule #1 in surgery : 'there is no body cavity that cannot be reached with a 14 gauge needle and a good strong arm'. Now we are legally not allowed to flirt with nurses in Australia, due to a class action brought to court by all the other nurses who were not being flirted with ... :-)

Google tells me that Jager is : a German 70-proof digestif. As such it clearly comes under the title of a medicinal preparation, but it seems to have been mislabeled as a munition in some instances.

Many people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them

I'm thinking of instituting 'Werewolf Wednesdays' as a culling measure. Each Wednesday evening I'll let the packs run - with prepared lists in hand. I could follow up with 'Theropod Thursdays'** for any stragglers. I've just done a quick poll around the office this morning as to who would accept me as a benign dictator. Quite oddly, most said they'd have to think about it! :-)

Cheers, Mike.

* Oh, and for the patient too.

** Velociraptors et al.
14) Message boards : Cafe Einstein : Uncle Albert's Cafe and Ǽ-Theory Bistro (Message 132324)
Posted 6 days ago by Profile Mike Hewson
Here's a thing of worry. We have a local girl who hasn't FaceBooked since Tuesday, normally on every day. She was coming back from Amsterdam.

Mike.
15) Message boards : Cafe Einstein : LPTP Thread #5 - - and away we go (Message 132308)
Posted 7 days ago by Profile Mike Hewson
There are 92 known cases of nuclear bombs lost at sea.

As Walt White says : 'you got me' .... I've been collecting them.

Using my network of submersibles I have been picking them up after arranging for them to be lost in the first place. I have been making chess pieces out of them. I will have three full sets when I get to number ninety-six. Please contribute to my Kickstarter effort to get the others. I'm only missing four pawns so that will be cheaper. Give me a call at the Kylie Minogue Sanctuary for Insane Skippies .... muahahaha, chihuahua, muahahaha, chihuahua ......

[ .... is dragged away from Mattel's Master of World Domination Playset for under 3's .... ]

Cheers, Mike.

( edit ) This is the quality of post you get from DownUnda, on a Friday, just before Beer O'clock.
16) Message boards : Cafe Einstein : LPTP Thread #5 - - and away we go (Message 132306)
Posted 7 days ago by Profile Mike Hewson
Actually a Real Aussie Bloke would not have taken the suicide pill. He'd be out there raging at the radioactive cloud while it engulfed him. I would make no difference in the end. But just because it's an apocalypse doesn't mean you have to be crap at it ! :-)

Cheers, Mike.
17) Message boards : Cafe Einstein : LPTP Thread #5 - - and away we go (Message 132303)
Posted 7 days ago by Profile Mike Hewson
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia."

Charles Schulz

Quite right Charles. We are the tip of the spear flying into the future. If I stop posting at E@H folks, look for the glow on your southern horizons. The Asteroid will have hit.

I only watch TV every few days at most. My logic is as follows : if it's just static then they've stopped transmitting, and if that then The Bomb has been dropped. This I feel is the best way for me to detect if The Game Of Nukes has happened. I can't imagine Melbourne even being on anyone's tertiary target list. And I can't think of a better use for my TV set than as an Apocalypse Detector.

Speaking of which : has anyone seen the movie On The Beach ? Greg Peck, Ava Gardner, Fred Astaire, Anthony Perkins et al. End of the civilization, last bastion of mankind before the radioactive cloud hits ? If nothing else it proves that while Fred can sing and dance, he can't act.

In any event I know a guy who was in the movie ! Truly Ruly. Cross My Heart. Yes he was but a few months old and in his mother's arms, who as an extra was standing on the Frankston station platform. A panning shot. Got a whole 7 second cut ! When I was with him at Uni we all had a beer & pizza party to watch it and celebrate his entry into the acting profession. We gave him a standing ovation for that scene. Alas he peaked his career too early and had to fail downwards into medicine .....

It is NOT true that Ava said that Melbourne 'was a great place to make a movie about the end of the world'. That's a lie. She said it was 'was an outstanding place to make a movie about the end of the world'. Get it right movie buffs. The port scenes show our waterfront just as devoid of activity then as now. There were some particular Aussie touches to the screenplay eg. if you take a suicide pill then wash it down with a nutritious glass of milk. Very Australian indeed and nice of the director to put that in.

Cheers, Mike.
18) Message boards : Cafe Einstein : LPTP Thread #5 - - and away we go (Message 132289)
Posted 8 days ago by Profile Mike Hewson


A policeman in Ontario pulls over a Newfie for speeding, and while he’s writing out the ticket a fly was bothering the Cop, so the Newfie says, "Dat’s a circle fly, sir."
The policeman asks, "what’s a circle fly?"
Newfie replies, "dem are da flies you find in da barn, circlin' around a 'orses ass."
The policeman asks, "are you calling me a horses ass?"
"Oh no, sir . . . I would never say a t'ing like dat . . . but you can't fool dem flies, sir."


Ohhhh, the shame of it all. Our "thread's founder" violated one of his own rules - a back-to-back post.

Yeah .... but it was worth it ! :-)

Sadly I don't think I'll ever have the opportunity to use those lines in real life. With all these automated speed cameras abounding, that personal touch has been lost I feel.

Cheers, Mike.
19) Message boards : Cafe Einstein : LPTP Thread #5 - - and away we go (Message 132287)
Posted 8 days ago by Profile Mike Hewson
Well done Mikey, you have spotted what our postal service employees do very well : watch each other to see who will move first.

[ Ooops, how offensive. Sorry. Some of my best friends are kangaroos. ]

Cheers, Mike.

( edit ) Actually Australia Post does has a world beating service that no one else has matched to my knowledge. They will lose your package before you give it to them.

( edit ) Their slogan is "Australia Post : for when it absolutely, positively doesn't matter!"

( edit ) Why the animosity to Australia Post, Mike? You may well ask ....

I was once severely berated by a Clerk of The Court for trying to fulfill a document subpoena by sending it in through AP. That was not considered a sufficient effort to execute the conditions of the subpoena ie. I ought have known that was unreliable. And I must admit he was quite right ....
20) Message boards : Cafe Einstein : LPTP Thread #5 - - and away we go (Message 132253)
Posted 9 days ago by Profile Mike Hewson
Well, I don't want to come over all FaceBook at you, but this is the mail service we had to tolerate today :



..... yes, the letters are kept in the pouch where the 'joey' sorts them. Can you spot any other Australia Post employees ?? ;-)

Cheers, Mike.

( edit ) Hint : there are four in total pictured ....


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This material is based upon work supported by the National Science Foundation (NSF) under Grants PHY-1104902, PHY-1104617 and PHY-1105572 and by the Max Planck Gesellschaft (MPG). Any opinions, findings, and conclusions or recommendations expressed in this material are those of the investigators and do not necessarily reflect the views of the NSF or the MPG.

Copyright © 2014 Bruce Allen