If you are driving in traffic and a police car passes you with its red lights on, get in behind and follow it. You'll get through traffic faster that way.
Funny enough, the same thing happens with big red trucks that have 'FIRE' written on the side of them............
I was going to add, when the ambulances go by, but I am a lawyer and I know what you are going to say (albeit, I am a tax lawyer)!
10. When they ask "How are you today?" Tell them! "I'm so glad you asked
because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my
arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died..."
9. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name.
Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located.
Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as
long as necessary.
8. Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my God! Judy,
how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of
pause as she tries to figure out where she could know you from.
7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan,
reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends ... would
you be my friend?"
6. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and
you could sure use some money.
5. Tell the telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could
bring you a case of beer and some chips
4. After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you. When
they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your credit
card number to a complete stranger.
3. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them if they will
give you their HOME phone number so you can call them back. When the
telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their HOME number, you say "I
guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The telemarketer
will agree and you say, "Now you know how I feel!" Say good by - and Hang up.
2. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on
Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your mom?"
And first and foremost:
1. Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write EVERY WORD down.
For a wonderfully effective exfoliation treatment, take a bath in lime and bleach. For really tough, dry skin add drain cleaner as well. Just a quart or so will do.
Those who don’t build must burn. It’s as old as history and juvenile delinquents.
Ray Bradbury - Fahrenheit 451
RE: RE: If you are
)
I was going to add, when the ambulances go by, but I am a lawyer and I know what you are going to say (albeit, I am a tax lawyer)!
"We must be the change we wish to see."
Mahatma Gandhi
delegating is a sign of
)
delegating is a sign of weakness, let someone else do it.
The expression "Life in the
)
The expression "Life in the fast line" should not inspire you to live in the road.
Perhaps this doesn't really
)
Perhaps this doesn't really belong here........
10 Ways to Annoy a Telemarketer
10. When they ask "How are you today?" Tell them! "I'm so glad you asked
because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my
arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died..."
9. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name.
Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located.
Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as
long as necessary.
8. Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my God! Judy,
how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of
pause as she tries to figure out where she could know you from.
7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan,
reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends ... would
you be my friend?"
6. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and
you could sure use some money.
5. Tell the telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could
bring you a case of beer and some chips
4. After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you. When
they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your credit
card number to a complete stranger.
3. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them if they will
give you their HOME phone number so you can call them back. When the
telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their HOME number, you say "I
guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The telemarketer
will agree and you say, "Now you know how I feel!" Say good by - and Hang up.
2. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on
Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your mom?"
And first and foremost:
1. Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write EVERY WORD down.
But Hey! Try 'em all out!
Get outta bed and face the
)
Get outta bed and face the day....in an easy chair
(nicked from Arjen Anthony Lucassen's song "Summer's in the air")
Even if you need to get
)
Even if you need to get downstairs quickly, don't jump out of a window -- use the stairs.
Don't waste money buying
)
Don't waste money buying expensive binoculars. Simply stand closer to the object you wish to view.
Physics is for gurls!
If you ever meet the
)
If you ever meet the President, don't offer him the surprise gift of a firearm by whipping it suddenly out of your coat pocket.
Please don't squeeze the
)
Please don't squeeze the Charmin.
For a wonderfully effective
)
For a wonderfully effective exfoliation treatment, take a bath in lime and bleach. For really tough, dry skin add drain cleaner as well. Just a quart or so will do.
Those who don’t build must burn. It’s as old as history and juvenile delinquents.
Ray Bradbury - Fahrenheit 451